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The elephant in the room

This post has been tumbling through my mind for a few weeks now. I vowed earlier in the year to get back on track with Slimming World as not to waste all my hard work in previous years and here I am, mid-April heavier than I have been in a long time and I don’t like it, one little bit. 

a view on my walking route

I gain weight very easily. Be it my genetics, my hormones or my fondness for chocolate and pizza I’ve always been a plus size woman and as much as I want to lose the weight, I fear I will always be bigger than the norm.

Since Freddie’s arrival, I have found the adjustment from one child to two much harder work than I (naively) anticipated. Not that any of my weight gain is my children’s fault at all, it’s mine, but I’m a strong believer in that when you want to lose weight and as much as you need to, your head needs to be in the game too. You need to be in the right frame of mind and dedicate a lot of time to it to get to where you need to be.

At the moment, as desperate as I am to start losing the weight, I’m also very conscious of being present for Freddie. I hate the gym and can’t afford it on my maternity pay. He’s only going to be little once and I don’t want to waste any precious time with him. He needs my attention and its only right that he deserves every second of it. Having said all that, I want to be around for him for a long time and I know that my health isn’t the best at the moment so need to sort my head out and get back to it.

But I wish it was easy. I’ve written before about getting back on track with Slimming World. It’s a plan that I know works and works well but I’m not sure I have the time to spend cooking from scratch. There are some days when Freddie doesn’t want to be put down and I grab something quick from the kitchen. Unfortunately my grab and go foods have been all the wrong foods and my lack of exercise (due to my own laziness, tiredness, rubbish weather and c-section recovery) has taken its toll. I can’t really afford the monthly fees and don’t have much time to attend the group sessions, as much as I miss my old group I’m not sure it works with my boys at the moment.

So I guess I’m writing all this here, and in some odd way my blog has gone full circle (it started out as a weightloss blog back in 2008) because I know I need to lose weight. I can see it, I can feel it and I don’t like it. If I write it down for the world to see then I’m shaming myself into doing something positive about it. I feel ashamed that people visit this blog for recipe ideas and SW inspiration as I once was an inspiration to some losing over 5 stone, look at me now, I’m anything but that.

However….

Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start. Time to do something about how I’m feeling and make a conscious effort to try and lose this weight for me. We’ve had a food shop delivered this evening and I’ve tried to order healthier foods that I know are on plan and will help me lose weight. I’ve been to Boots and stood on the scales and got weighed (that was not pleasant!) so I know exactly where I am weight wise. I’m going to write everything down that I eat and although the syn values for things have changed recently, I’m going to try my best to stick to plan as best as I can with Freddie in tow.

With the weather looking brighter, I’ve ordered myself a new coat so I’ll have appropriate clothing to go walking in. Freddie can sleep and I can walk. Plan made!

First target is to lose one of many stone, perhaps drop a dress size so I can go shopping again (have you seen Groupon’s deals on Joules clothing?) and reduce the size of my triple chins! I’ll weigh in at Boots in a months time (16th May) to see how I’m doing. I need to do this for me, for my children and for my ever plummeting confidence!

Wish me luck!

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20 Comments

  • Reply Claire yarnall

    Good luck, I’m so with you I’ll n this, I’m off to boots this week for my first weigh in too, I can’t get to classes it’s just not practical with poppy and Liam, so I’m going to weigh regular at boots and try make the best choices I can. Firstly Poppy’s birthday which I’m sure will involve cake lol. We can do this, I’m feeling a bit rubbish still but hopefully this warm weather we can go for a walk and catch up xx

    16/04/2018 at 12:06 am
    • Reply Emma

      I would LOVE to catch up with you over a long walk! Can you drive yet? Perhaps we can meet at the Arboretum when its nice and get some steps in? xx

      16/04/2018 at 12:12 am
  • Reply Maryanne

    Having gone from one to two is such a learning curve! Be kind to yourself! I’m trying the sw for my daughters wedding so commiserate, it’s so easy to pick the unhealthy options! Be strong, enjoy those boys, they grow up far too quickly! X

    16/04/2018 at 12:08 am
    • Reply Emma

      Thank you Maryanne, I need to be strong! Best of luck in your weightloss for the wedding x

      16/04/2018 at 12:13 am
  • Reply Beth @ Twinderelmo

    Good luck Emma. It is so hard when they are little as you feel guilty doing anything for yourself. But I found for my own sanity I had to do it, so that I wasn’t so down. First step is always the hardest xxx

    16/04/2018 at 6:51 am
    • Reply Emma

      Thanks Beth xx

      17/04/2018 at 12:43 am
  • Reply Elaine @Entertaining Elliot

    I hear you, it’s so hard when your head isn’t in it. I joined in Jan (well rejoined for the 2000th time) and got my stone sticker in Feb. Since then I’ve just not been in the zone, Easter was so off plan! Going back on weds to face the scales and I know I’ll be back to square one again. I just love food too much, especially chocolate. I really wish it was a vegetable addiction and not bad stuff! I could do with losing about 7 stone and it just seems such a huge amount. Good luck xx

    16/04/2018 at 7:03 am
    • Reply Emma

      I wish I had a vegetable addiction too Elaine, that made me giggle! Lets take it one day at a time xx

      17/04/2018 at 12:42 am
  • Reply Jaime Oliver

    Aww love I hear you, I hate the gym so am starting this morning having a tennis lesson once a week. I have also taken on a cleaning job 3 hours a day to up my overall physical movement.

    I’m here if you want to chat lovely x

    16/04/2018 at 7:59 am
  • Reply Sarah Humphreys

    I could have written this myself, after losing 4 stone after my second child, I have put it all back on in the three years since having my third. I hate myself and feel horrible but my head wasn’t in the right place to do anything about it. I have actually started slimming world today for the first time…. we can do this together!

    16/04/2018 at 9:26 am
    • Reply Emma

      Good luck Sarah, we can do it! x

      17/04/2018 at 12:43 am
  • Reply Debs | Tiger Mint

    Ah well done for making the first step! I don’t have children so I have absolutely no idea how much effort it must take to juggle the little ones and also the time you want to spend on yourself. I do want children in the future so this is something I think (or worry) about too – I very much enjoy my me-time.
    Having 1 child, I heard, is like a full time job, so now you have 2 and you’re also trying to focus on your weightloss goals. You are essentially superwoman. Don’t be too hard on yourself :)
    Love Debs @ tiger-mint.com

    16/04/2018 at 10:18 am
    • Reply Emma

      Thanks so much Debs, I wish I was superwoman! xx

      17/04/2018 at 12:44 am
  • Reply susankmann

    You are amazing hon. It is not easy going from one to two kids. I struggled. Take your time and you will get these lovely. YOu can do it as you are amazing x

    16/04/2018 at 2:41 pm
    • Reply Emma

      Thanks Susan xx

      17/04/2018 at 12:44 am
  • Reply Rachel

    Good luck, I’m sure that you can do it. I’m currently doing slimming world after failing many times in the past. I agree your head has to be in the game to.
    Looking forward to seeing the progress you make

    16/04/2018 at 2:52 pm
    • Reply Emma

      Thanks Rachel xx

      17/04/2018 at 12:44 am
  • Reply Jenny @thebrickcastle

    You already know how slimming world works and you know the nutritional value of foods. You don’t need to pay.
    You have a child who can’t walk and needs pushed everywhere – take a walk to the supermarket or the park. Make an extra lap on the school run. Be quick and it’s even aerobic exercise. You don’t need to pay.
    I used to mark the nutrition course for Derby Primary Care Trust and I’ve always been overweight myself :D Knowing it and having the impetus to do it are totally.different. The fact you’ve written about it makes it serious, it means you mean it. You can do it. You don’t need to miss out on time with your little fella either – crikey, grins like his, who ever would? :) x

    16/04/2018 at 8:19 pm
    • Reply Emma

      Thanks Jenny, I know what I need to do, it’s just doing it isnt it? xx

      17/04/2018 at 12:58 am
  • Reply Emma T

    Freddie’s only young and you’ve got 2 to look after. Motivation is the hardest part and getting started. I did well after.having N then let everything slip losing and gaining more. I’m now after 7 years still heavier than at 9 months pregnant, and I’ve lost nearly 2 stone. But like you I need to do it for my health. I have a knee that plays up, I’ve had Achilles issues and I am so unfit. But just losing that 1.5 stone has.notciebly helped already so that helps give a boost. Good.luck with it. You’ve done it before and can do it again (I have 6 stone to lose in total and this will be my year to get as much of that lost as possible)

    17/04/2018 at 7:36 am
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