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Six months in | Trying to conceive our second baby

Photo credit: The Essential One

Photo credit: The Essential One

As much as I would love to be announcing our second pregnancy, it’s not happening and it’s making my heart ache. In December, I knew that my period would likely to arrive on or around Christmas Eve. So you can imagine that heart sinking feeling I had as I knew that it wasn’t our month again on Christmas Eve (Happy friggin’ Christmas to me eh, what a gift!)

When we decided to go for it and try for our much wanted second baby, we were excited. We both want a baby brother or sister for Olly, he adores other children and would be the best big brother ever with his caring personality. We don’t want him to be an only child. We want him to have someone to grow up with, someone to play with and have adventures with. As much as we can do that with him, we both know the bond of having a sibling and we would really love him to have that.

We had heard that second baby’s are easier to conceive, after all your body knows what to do now it’s been through one successful pregnancy and if it can happen once, it can happen again. In my previous pregnancy with Olly I was about a stone lighter than I am now so I know I need to lose more weight. I’m so conscious of being overweight, I don’t think I’m strong enough to go to the Gynecologists again just yet as I know what they will say and I don’t want to hear it.

Having PCOS doesn’t usually bother me. I can handle the painful heavy periods, I can handle plucking unsightly ‘billy goat gruff’ hairs out of my chin every so often. But I can’t handle the not-knowing. The not-knowing if we’ll ever be a family of four is gut wrenching!

So here we are, six months down the line and still no sign of those two pink lines. My stomach is bloated and I am aching. Aching for the month that’s passed with no success and I’m upset. I know it’s my hormones playing games with me. I want to bite the head of the Lindt chocolate bear I had in my advent calendar but I know if I do, the scales won’t like me so I’m not going to do it. I want to but I won’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel incredibly lucky that I have Olly. He is our pride and joy, I am immensely proud of the little boy he’s growing into and I thank my lucky stars every day that he’s with us. He’ll be three next month and starting nursery in September, where does the time go?

So another month has passed, another month into our trying to conceive journey and I’m praying that we don’t have to wait much too much longer to complete our little family.

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36 Comments

  • Reply Katie @mummydaddyme

    I don’t have any words of advice or probably non of comfort Em, but I just wanted to send you hugs and hope that you get another addition to your little family soon. x

    22/01/2016 at 2:19 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you Katie, much appreciated hugs needed today xx

      22/01/2016 at 3:20 pm
  • Reply ClearlyBex

    Oh hun, you will get there! *hugs* xxx

    22/01/2016 at 2:21 pm
  • Reply Little Pickle's Mom

    Oh Emma, I’ll be keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you. I can’t even imagine how you must feel as each month passes. I bet it’s not as easy thing to talk about either so I think you’re super brave for writing a post about it. Isn’t it so bloody typical that sometimes the things we want the most elude us? I know it’s easier said than done, but enjoy all the trying, stay as relaxed as possible and know that we’re all willing you on. I’m sure you’ve already read it, but I found reading the Sperm Meet Egg Plan was REALLY useful when we were trying to conceive. Granted, I don’t suffer from PCOS but I’m certain the information in there helped and it’s a free download on Amazon so there’s nothing to lose! Big love, LPMx

    22/01/2016 at 2:31 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you hun, much appreciated. I’ve not heard of the Sperm Meet Egg Plan but i’ll be having a look for that later xx

      22/01/2016 at 3:16 pm
  • Reply Steph

    Oh my love! I hate that some of the most awesome people ever experience these struggles. I pray that they cease very soon and you get those two pink lines you so long for xxx

    22/01/2016 at 3:06 pm
  • Reply Lucy Bishop

    I have got literally everything crossed for you Em – you will be the most wonderful family of 4 and it will absolutely happen for you, I know it will – like you said – you’ve done it before so you know it is absolutely possible, and it’ll be worth every bit of the heartache when you have your second baby in your arms. You are doing everything right, and your weight loss is incredible…before you know it you’ll be getting that positive test and breathing a sigh of relief. The bloody crazy baby boom can’t be helping things darling – you’ll be joining the boom soon, I just know it! Sending so much love xxxxx

    22/01/2016 at 3:17 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you lovely, I really really hope so! Just feel like hibernating away to be honest it’s just all a bit too much xxx

      22/01/2016 at 3:27 pm
  • Reply Colette

    Keep your chin up beautiful lady x

    22/01/2016 at 3:20 pm
  • Reply Rachael Whitton

    It’s horrible isnt it i conceived straight away with my daughter but 2nd time round with my son it took us a whole year to conceive. I was gutted every month.

    Keep at it (at least its something fun) and dont stress too much i found that i was past caring towards the end and thats when i fell pregnant maybe because the pressure was off me.

    Big hugs it will come x

    22/01/2016 at 3:28 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you Rachael, it took us 2.5 years with Olly but I started out much heavier at the beginning. I know people say try not to stress but it’s so heartbreaking every month, I wish I didn’t care so much xx

      22/01/2016 at 3:51 pm
  • Reply Sugar & Rhubarb

    Oh love!! I can remember that feeling. I’m sending you lots of love. PCOS is a fecker! It’s the reason I’ve lost so much hair. But I would recommend reflexology whilst trying to conceive. I’m sure it helped us. Big hugs xx

    22/01/2016 at 4:00 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you lovely, you’re not the only one to recommend reflexology today so I definitely need to try that. Thank you xx

      22/01/2016 at 4:42 pm
  • Reply Charly

    Big hugs hun,

    It took us 2 years to conceive our second and even at 18 weeks I still can’t believe we have, it was a hard slog and I know how you feel but being told that it could still take another year of investigations to find out why I gave up hope, and it was the best thing I ever did I got a positive test 5 weeks later after 5 miscarriages in 6 months it was a case of don’t get your hopes up but finally we are here!

    It will happen just maybe needs little less concentration on the subject? Good luck and baby dust xx

    22/01/2016 at 5:05 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you Charly, congratulations on your pregnancy xx

      22/01/2016 at 8:57 pm
  • Reply Bryony

    Oh Emma I just want to give you a big hug. I can totally relate with both PCOS and the general struggle of having a second baby. I got so frustrated when people would remind how ‘easy’ having a second baby is – Francesca was a big surprise so not being able to get pregnant a second time felt ridiculous! After a 14 months of trying we eventually got pregnant with Georgiana – it WILL happen for you, you’re strong and positive. You ARE! Sending all my love to you, if you ever want to chat just shout xxx

    22/01/2016 at 5:38 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you Bryony, I really appreciate your comment. I hope you’re right xx

      22/01/2016 at 8:51 pm
  • Reply Lindsay At Newcastle Family Life

    Aw Emma, I have no advice or anything I am afraid but I just want to let you know that I have my fingers tightly crossed that the stork visits soon and completes your family. xx

    22/01/2016 at 8:21 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you Lindsay, that’s very much appreciated xx

      22/01/2016 at 8:49 pm
  • Reply Sharon powell

    Oh lovely I’m so sorry to be reading this. I know I have 4 children so seems like I have babies easily but we actually tried for 6 years for our 3rd baby. What finally did it for us was losing a bit of weight (which you have mastered) and I stopped trying, I actually started to convince myself that it was good that I wasn’t having anymore babies. I know it’s hard but 6 months is not that long, you will get there and be a wonderful family of 4. Big hugs X

    22/01/2016 at 8:24 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thanks Sharon, six years WOW! I bet you were so relieved to get those two lines. Thanks for sharing xx

      22/01/2016 at 8:54 pm
  • Reply Donna

    Thinking of you lovely. I hope your time comes soon enough. Olly will one day be an awesome big brother! x

    22/01/2016 at 8:54 pm
  • Reply Emma

    It is so hard when you want something so much. We tried for 8 months with our third, then we took a break and when we started again it just happened. I hope it happens soon for you x

    23/01/2016 at 5:15 pm
  • Reply Nicola Bradbury

    Oh my lovely Emma, thank you so much for sharing – it can’t have been easy but just look at all the support you have! I really hope this year is your year and you are blessed with a sibling for Olly, you’re a wonderful Mama and I’m certain that it will happen for you. When we were trying for Alfie, I used to get so worked up over it and I was measuring by BBT every morning to check if I was ovulating. It got ridiculous. It took the enjoyment away for me. Once I’d made the decision to just let it happen and to stop putting so much pressure on myself it happened the next month. Go easy on yourself sweetie. xxx

    24/01/2016 at 4:36 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      I am SO grateful for all your support including yours Nic, I’ve been so emotional over it all. I really tried not to get hung up about it this month but when you get your period its so frustrating. Thank you lovely xx

      24/01/2016 at 6:39 pm
  • Reply Sammie Hodges

    Sadly I know exactly how you are feeling right now. My heart goes out to you. Inbetween Chester and Millie I had a miscarriage. Then it took just over a year to fall pregnant with Millie. Every month, when I realised it wasn’t our month was heart breaking, we desperately wanted a sibling for Chester. But then when we had just about given up all hope and had stopped really ‘trying’ we realised I was pregnant with Millie! It might be a long tough road ahead but keep positive I am sure it will happen when you least expect it xxx

    24/01/2016 at 6:49 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you so much for your comment Sammie, I need to try and chill out a bit really but then I don’t want to feel like it’s forgotten about, if you know what I mean. Much love xx

      24/01/2016 at 7:35 pm
  • Reply Sarah

    I don’t really have anything I can say to offer you any comfort or advice, and I can’t pretend to know how you are feeling but I just wanted to send you some massive hugs. Stay strong lovely x

    24/01/2016 at 8:10 pm
    • Reply Emma Shilton

      Thank you Sarah, very kind of you. I really appreciate it xx

      24/01/2016 at 8:16 pm
  • Reply Pamela | Life With Munchers

    Urgh that feeling as a month passes is undescribable. I’ll have everything crossed for you xx

    24/01/2016 at 11:05 pm
  • Reply Megan - Truly Madly Kids

    I don’t have any words of wisdom, but I do have lots of squeeze hugs. Just remember, you’ve done it before, it WILL happen, I know xxxx

    28/01/2016 at 3:47 pm
  • Reply Lucy

    Oh I don’t know what to say that would help, but I couldn’t read and run. I think it can be made harder by being a blogger sometimes, because it feels like there is a pregnancy or birth announcement every two minutes, but people don’t necessarily share the struggles they may have been through to get there. I’m sending lots of love and hugs and hope your way that it happens for you soon lovely. x

    24/02/2016 at 6:35 am
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