If you’re a loyal reader of my blog, you’ll know that for the last couple of years I’ve been working hard to lose weight and feel more comfortable in my own skin. It’s been a HUGE deal for me. I can vividly remember looking at my post-baby body a couple of years ago in the mirror before our family holiday to Turkey and actually hating the way I looked. I had really big wobbly bits, no real shape for a plus-size woman and I just felt really uncomfortable in pretty much everything I wore. I wanted to cover up in black shapeless clothes so that I didn’t stand out, to blend into a crowd. I didn’t feel very confident and I think it must have shown. I was really anxious as to what people thought of me and would be constantly worrying what people might have been saying as I walked past.
To buy a tankini or not?
Over the last two years, I’ve been able to drop four dress sizes with my weightloss and therefore my wardrobe has changed quite a bit. I knew for our holiday this year, I needed to buy a couple of new swimming cossies for the pool and fell in love with a two piece tankini from TU at Sainsburys. I did worry about what it might look like on but with a few days to go before my holiday and a lack of swimwear in the suitcase, I put it in the basket and promptly paid. Although I went up a size, the tankini fit really well. I felt really comfortable in it and I actually liked the reflection I had in the hotel bedroom mirror, what a shocker!
I wore this fabulous tankini on holiday and felt fab in it. I know, My boobs aren’t brilliant, my sausage arms are on display and I’ve caught the sun on my wobbly bits, but here’s a real Mum on holiday with her family, having the time of her life and no-one died!
I felt rather liberated on holiday to walk around the pool in my tankini. To be honest, I felt really proud of how far I’ve come and held my head high when my husband got the camera out around the pool capturing the fun moments of our holiday.
I’ve always been quite open in front of our three year old Son with my body, I don’t want him to grow up thinking women have to be slim and wobble-free like the people he sees on television, in magazines and on posters. I want him to see a real woman, with wobbly bits and an imperfect tummy, enjoying herself and to know that it’s okay and normal, very normal.
When I look at these photographs, I don’t see a fat wobbly Mum. I see a happy Mom enjoying the freezing cold pool in the sunshine with her little boy having so much fun in the water. I want to document that. I want to remember the moments when I feel proud of my achievements and how I was embracing my tankini body on holiday. Yes, I’m still overweight but working hard to reduce my wobbly bits for my own comfort and nobody else’s!
I’m proud of these smiles in these photographs, I’ve worked damned hard enough to get here!