Why I’ll probably never be bikini ready and that’s okay..

14/06/2019
swimwear bikini

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It’s a phrase I don’t really associate with but as soon as the warmer weather appears here in the UK, you see advertising slogans everywhere saying ‘Are you bikini ready?’ or ‘Time to get bikini ready!’ Well I’m not too sorry to say that I’ll probably never be bikini ready and that’s okay…but it won’t stop me from wearing a swimsuit this summer, and here’s why if you’re feeling the same, you shouldn’t be sorry either.

I am loving the body positive vibe that’s online currently, I love how bloggers and ‘influencers’ (sorry, but I really dislike that word!) are encouraging people of all shapes and sizes to love the skin they’re in and be proud of their bodies. I love that they’re encouraging people to dress how ever they want and just be proud of what they’ve got and I love to see people wearing a smile when they’re comfortable enough to wear whatever they want without giving a damn about what anyone else thinks.

I’m a plus size Mummy of two young boys. For years, I have hated my body and been pretty horrible to it. I’ve made lots of poor choices when it comes to food and drink, my diet hasn’t always been particularly healthy and I’d rather watch sport than play it. It’s entirely my own fault that it’s in the state it’s currently in. I don’t particularly like my current body shape or the number staring back at me on the scales because I know I’m overweight, I can see it and feel it and for a small proportion of time, it makes me feel inadequate, ugly and wholly unattractive. But it’s helped me grow two beautiful babies who I adore more than life itself and that’s why I’m taking small steps to improve my health, for me and for them.

I want to be ‘present’ for my boys. I want to jump in the pool on holiday and wear a kick ass swimsuit.  I want to hear the giggles of laughter from my eldest as he tries to catch me off guard and dunk me in the water. I want to see the joy of complete happiness across my toddlers face as he realises he can splash around in the pool to his hearts content and not worry about getting anything wet (bath times are a completely different matter!) I want to make memories with my boys and enjoy being in the moment. I want them to remember the fun times we had together on holiday with me in my swimming cossie. I want to be present for them. I don’t want to miss out on all the fun times and experiences because I don’t have a ‘bikini ready’ body. If I don’t get in the pool, we’re all missing out and I don’t really care who I offend if others don’t like it!

As much as I will wear a swimsuit or a tankini, I’m not ready to bare more flesh than I have to. It’s a confidence thing. I don’t mind wearing a swimsuit and know that baring my legs and arms to the world is part and parcel of it all. But I don’t need to show my belly, I’d much rather it be covered up and that’s okay!

I cannot wait to take a dip in the pool and enjoy the freedom it brings. I love swimming and although I don’t get much time to go these days, it’s a form of exercise I really enjoy and back in the day, I used to be quite good at it (I had swimming badges galore!) I never want to get to a position where I refuse to get in the pool with my boys because of my body. Their happiness is much more important to me than anyone’s opinion of me so I know I’ll probably never feel comfortable to wear a bikini and that’s okay.

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2 Comments

  • Reply Plutonium Sox 14/06/2019 at 4:41 pm

    I agree, it’s totally fine to wear a bikini but it’s equally fine not to want to. I’m not sure I’ll ever wear one again either. I’m more than happy in a swimsuit though, in fact it’s probably the one item of clothing I couldn’t live without!
    Nat.x

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