How many times have you read that before? Over the last 8 weeks or so, I’ve been attempting (really badly) to get my head back in the weightloss game. I say really badly, as since Freddie was born, I’ve realised just how much weight I have gained in pregnancy and those first early weeks, but it hasn’t stopped me from eating shovelling rubbish into my mouth mindlessly. I’ve always said that your head needs to be in the right place to lose weight and up until recently, I was kidding myself that I was ready.
I need structure. I need routine. Being on maternity leave with the whole day ahead of me leaves me as free as a bird (well as free as Freddie’s feeding and nap routine allows) and being able to eat whatever I want to eat without judgement resulted in me putting weight on and losing control. I didn’t like my reflection in the mirror and when my fat clothes feel uncomfortable you know you need to sort yourself out.
Enough was enough. On Wednesday I plucked up the courage (and had moral support from my lovely friend) and walked back into a SW group. I stood on the scales in front of someone new and marked the sand with my ‘new’ starting weight. It wasn’t a surprise as I’ve been weighing myself at home but it still hurts seeing those numbers on the scale in front of someone you don’t know.
I know the SW plan, I know it works. I need a refresh yes but I know the plan works well if you stick to it and that’s what I’m going to do. I need to be organised. I need to get over a silly fear of squidgy foods (I know it sounds ridiculous but when I was pregnant foods that were squidgy made me gag and feel really sick!) and I need to do this for me!
My SW week starts on a Thursday morning and I’ll get weighed on a Wednesday evening. It’s a change to what I used to do as my old group was on a Tuesday evening and that doesn’t work for us and the boys routines right now. I will miss my old group but I can pop in and see them when I get chance and I need to do what’s right for now.
I’m writing this on Friday evening and so far I’ve done two great ‘on plan’ days. I just need to repeat on a very regular basis to shift this weight. I cannot wait to get back into some of my smaller clothes and buy more stylish clothes you can just pick right off the rail. Ultimately though I’m just wanting to feel healthier and be around for my boys. I don’t ever want them to be embarrassed by me and at the moment, I’m embarrassed by me!
But no regrets, I have two beautiful boys and I’ll only look back to see how far I’ve come (cheesy eh?)