Yesterday my baby boy turned four years old. That’s four whole years of being something that I never thought I would be. Four years of being a mummy and what an incredible four years I have had.
It’s not been easy, being a Mummy is one of the hardest roles to take on. It’s exhausting, agonising and stressful but overwhelmingly rewarding. I have come a long way being a Mummy in the last four years and there is no greater title for me that ‘being Olly’s Mummy’. I wear that title with immense pride and in reality, there is nothing more I want to be.
Since my little boy was born, I’ve learnt an incredible amount about being a Mummy and what it really means. The naive-selfish thirty year old me is long gone and here I am now with wrinkles and dark circles around my eyes, grey hair disguised as blonde and a sizeable Mum-tum but I wouldn’t change it for the world (well okay, maybe the mum-tum needs sizing down a peg or three, there’s make up a plenty under my eyes and copius amounts of bleach on my hair) but you know what I mean.
Being a Mummy is an absolute privilege. I know from very raw experience that being a Mummy is not guaranteed. It’s a whirlwind of emotions with immense feelings of pride one minute to absolute dispair the next. There is no happy medium but I am incredibly lucky to have and feel those emotions and I will never ever take them for granted.
Being a Mummy is exhausting! From the moment I get up, to the moment I go to sleep, I am on the go. Thinking ahead about what jobs need doing, do we have dinner in the fridge, has Olly got a clean shirt for school, will he be anxious before school today, should we tell him about PE on a Friday, should he really be still drinking sips of milk from his Tommee Tippee baby bottle in the morning and at night (no, he shouldn’t but who I am too tired to argue with you on that one!) Even when I’m at doing something else, I am thinking about him. Has he played up in pre-school, I hope he calmed down, did he carry on crying? Why is my child the only one on the playground crying every morning? Why does my child make himself sick before pre-school? Why does he play up for me and not so-much for my husband? All the time, I’m thinking and worrying about him. It’s exhausting.
Being a Mummy is going with your gut! Despite the tears in the morning, he loves school. He thrives on routine and he is doing incredibly well. Friends and acquaintances offer advice all the time (whether it’s welcome or not) but you just have to accept that they don’t know your child like you do and although you might not understand your childs actions right now, stick with your gut and do what is best for you, your child and your own situation. Don’t worry about anyone else, you just and your own kiddo!
Being a Mummy is being selfless. I would happily go without to make sure my boy has what he needs. It’s about staying up to make sure he has clean clothes for the morning, or fetching water in the middle of the night, or walking to school with Little Ted tucked into my jacket pocket so he can meet him from school. It’s about putting your own needs to the back of the queue and ensuring your children have the chances and the opportunities to give them the best start in life, to lay those foundations for their futures, to put them first. Even if it means you go to work without a scrap of make up on and hungry from a missed breakfast whilst you cleaned up an anxious sick pre-schooler.
Being a Mummy is the most incredible rewarding job I’ll ever do. I am a better person for having a child, someone who can see the world through the eyes of their four year old and cherish every moment of a soggy, cold and miserable school run.
Happy Birthday my darling boy, I love you forever and thank you for making me your Mummy!