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{The Ordinary Moments 17} #1 Being kinder to myself

I‘m joining in with The Ordinary Moments linky this year hosted by Katie and Donna as I wanted to post some of the ordinary moments in my life which sometimes are not the best, nothing to shout home about but they’re ordinary and very much part of my daily life and make up who I am!

There’s no new year, new me resolutions going down in a fresh unwritten diary for me this year. I realised quite a few years ago that my mindset doesn’t change just because a year does. There’s no automatic switch that enables me to be a stronger person who doesn’t care what people think or a more confident person who can take uncalculated risks and speak out more freely. Those things for me are progressive and as every year passes and I spend more time being a Mum, I’m learning more about myself and those around me.

The Ordinary Moments 1 2017

However, in 2017, I’m going to be kinder to myself. I wrote a post on this yesterday and having read it back to myself, I’m certainly going to try to give myself more time and to do things that make me happier. I’m in a good place, I have a husband that I love very much, we have a beautiful, intelligent and cheeky little boy who can be a complete terror at times but he’s our terror. We have a lovely house that we’re going to redecorate this year and hopefully make some great changes to the house that will put us in a good position for our future. But sometimes that’s not enough. I worry about my ability to conceive another child, my friendships and my work. All things that really shouldn’t stop me sleeping well at night but they do.

Last year I put so much pressure on myself it was exhausting. I was desperate to fall pregnant with our second baby that when it didn’t happen month after month, I turned to food as a way of coping and when you’re dieting that’s not really the most clever way of handling it. So just before Christmas, we took the pressure off ourselves and I’ve felt much happier about it all. I doubt that a pregnancy will happen just because I’ve took my mind off it (a watched kettle and all that) but it feels better that I’m not cursing myself every time it doesn’t happen.

I spent quite a bit of time chasing and clinging onto something that wasn’t there last year and it didn’t make me feel very good at all. It’s upsetting but I need to put myself first. I’m not wasting time on people who don’t really care (as much as I hope they would) and don’t put the effort in. Life moves on and so do I. I don’t think it’s a reflection on me as a person, I’m a good friend, loyal and honest and need to remember that more often.

The Ordinary Moments 1 2017

My work is an area of my life that I’m hoping to change over the next year. My passion really lies in digital and social media and I happen to think it’s one of my real strengths. I know what I can do well but at the same time, I am learning lots more about the behind the scenes, analytics and HTML. I absolutely love writing this blog and having the opportunities to work with some of the most amazing brands has been quite incredible. I haven’t quite worked out the logistics and finances of it all as yet because I haven’t been able to attract a wage that matches my current monthly salary so changes will need to be made but I’m hoping that any I do make will be for the better.

So lots of ordinary, everyday things that hopefully I can build on this year to really be kinder to myself going forward. Life is too short to be unhappy. But first, I need to book a hair appointment. Here’s to a kinder, happier 2017, one step at a time!

The Ordinary Moments
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21 Comments

  • Reply Beth @ Twinderelmo

    Emma you are genuinely such a LOVELY person, it’s rare that I say that about anyone as I’m such a miserable cow! I totally agree with not making big things as it’s hard when they don’t materialise. I think being NUMBER ONE IN TOTS (squeeeee!) is a pretty brilliant start for 2017 and I hope you manage to sort out work to reflect this. You are killing it Mrs! xx

    08/01/2017 at 4:01 pm
    • Reply Emma

      Thank you so much Beth, what a lovely thing to say, thank you xx

      09/01/2017 at 9:55 pm
  • Reply Plutonium Sox

    These are the best kinds of new year’s resolutions, after all if we’re not happy then nothing else is really worth much is it?
    Nat.x

    08/01/2017 at 4:27 pm
    • Reply Emma

      They are aren’t they? x

      09/01/2017 at 9:52 pm
  • Reply Asif

    My new years resolution is rather a new day resolution

    …I make a resolution each and every day:

    I will make a change to peoples lives… may it be by smiling at someone, say a kind word, help someone with a task or improve someones life chances through education.

    http://blog.atstudycloud.co.uk/new-years-resolution

    08/01/2017 at 8:39 pm
    • Reply Emma

      That’s a lovely way to look at it Asif

      09/01/2017 at 9:51 pm
  • Reply Donna

    I am so pleased to see you linking up and you definitely need to be kinder to yourself this year. You are an awesome friend, you are a great Mom and you have a beautiful family. You are also inspiring to so many people. Give yourself a break, enjoy yourself and focus on the so many positives in your life. Love you Em x

    08/01/2017 at 10:27 pm
    • Reply Emma

      Thank you so so much Donna xxx #mademecry

      09/01/2017 at 9:47 pm
  • Reply Laura - Dear Bear and Beany

    These are the best plans and I really hope that 2017 brings you everyone you hope for and deserve. You have such a great outlook to life and I could learn from this. I really need to focus on the people that make me smile and not the ones that make me feel like I’m not a good enough friend. You’ve had a great start to the year being number one in TOTS and I am sure you are going to stay high in the chart. x

    09/01/2017 at 1:34 pm
    • Reply Emma

      Thanks so much Laura xx

      09/01/2017 at 8:58 pm
  • Reply Notmyyearoff

    This is the best resolution ever. I don’t really know how to chill out or relax and I think the need to keep going means you can often not be kind to yourself. I may abandon some of my resolutions and try to be kinder to myself this year too x

    09/01/2017 at 1:53 pm
    • Reply Emma

      You totally should, be kind to yourself, you’re worth it x

      09/01/2017 at 8:56 pm
  • Reply Sherry

    I totally agree with everything about this and I love the Ordinary Moments link up for the very reason that it allows us to reflect on the week gone by, good or bad #TheOrdinaryMoments

    09/01/2017 at 6:23 pm
    • Reply Emma

      I’m hoping to join in a lot more this year too :)

      09/01/2017 at 8:50 pm
  • Reply Tia

    I’m so with you. Every year I make resolutions and put expectations on myself that I can change the things I dislike about myself overnight, when I’ve been doing them for years. Then when I never can, I get pissed off with myself and eat chocolate . I’ve kept it simple this year – try to stay calm (try!) and learn to touch my toes!! Thanks for sharing xx

    09/01/2017 at 9:47 pm
    • Reply Emma

      Love those Tia, staying calm is something I need to learn to do to, especially with a threenager in the house! x

      09/01/2017 at 10:45 pm
  • Reply Laura @ Little Ladies Big World

    Such a lovely post and one that I nodded along to. I am not one for life changing resolutions as I think you just grow and change no matter what the date but being kinder is something I want too. I hope that this year brings you everything you hope for but most of all happiness in what you do have xx

    10/01/2017 at 11:49 am
    • Reply Emma

      Thank you so much Laura, very kind x

      10/01/2017 at 4:43 pm
  • Reply Katie @mummydaddyme

    Oh Em I am so glad you are joining in this year. And firstly I think you could really do the digital thing if you really set your mind to it, I agree that it is where your strengths are too. If I can do it full time, you most certainly can. So keep being positive and I am sure it will happen for you. I know how scary it is to leave a good wage, I have been doing it for three years now since I handed my notice in and it still scares me some months. If you ever need any advice, I doubt I will be able to help, but if I can in any way just get in touch.
    I think that being positive and being kind is the best thing you can do. You have a lovely family and a gorgeous boy and I only hope that 2017 brings you everything you could wish for- you are so inspiring and lovely and you really do deserve it. Lots of love. xx

    10/01/2017 at 9:03 pm
  • Reply Mary Smith

    Great post Emma…its so hard to be kind to yourself isn’t it? We know our weaknesses and are our biggest critiques, but it is possible! One thing thats helped me is to rest and think of me more…its so simple but it makes me more able to deal with things and be a better person! I am sorry last year was so hard, I am an emotional eater too and that’s how I dealt a lot with the loss of our baby in 2014. People always said from then on “be kind to yourself” and I didn’t get it… I think you do though, just take of the pressure and do whats in your power. Best wishes to you, and I look forward to connecting more through #ordinarymoments x

    11/01/2017 at 9:44 am
  • Reply Kara

    Yes yes yes! You are one of the loveliest people I have met in the world of blogging and I am so thankful you are going to be kinder to yourself.
    It is so hard to do but I am sure you will find ways to do it. You are an inspiration to many, I challenge you to write down one nice thing about yourself each day, I think that will make a massive difference xxx

    12/01/2017 at 4:17 pm
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