I wanted to write you a little note as we approach your birthday. I can’t believe you’re going to be four. I want to tell you how much I love you and no matter what difficulties we’re having at the moment, Mummy will always be here for you and will always, always love you.
I have always wanted to be your Mummy. It’s the only ONE thing I’ve ever wanted to be. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to have children and I still pinch myself now that you’re here with me and I get to hear you call me Mummy.
Four years ago, I was on maternity leave enjoying daytime TV waiting for you to make your entrance into the world. I knew you were going to cause me a lifetime of worry when we found out you were breech at 32 weeks pregnant and Mummy nearly fainted in Morrisons supermarket when you performed the most incredible headstand and turned yourself around. But it’s okay, because I’m your Mummy and I would have moved heaven and earth to hold you in my arms.
You’re such a complex little man. Most of the time you’re bright and chatty. Asking a million and one questions, keen to get involved and play together with your cars and your games. You’re a delight to be around and I’m so incredibly in awe of your ability to see things with a fresh pair of eyes. You make me question things and see things differently. Offering a new perspective and a different viewpoint which is both entertaining and refreshing.
On the flip side, sometimes you’re a bit grumpy and very stubborn and it’s a battle of the wills at bedtime. You want to stay up and read another book, Daddy says it’s bedtime but you insist you’re not tired. Of course, you’re shattered and fall asleep next to the book you’ve been reading within minutes.
On the whole you love pre-school. You really thrive and have learnt so much already. You’re reading books that the Reception children in the year above are reading and learning numeracy with them too. You obviously have your Mummy’s brains, ha! Your handwriting is creative and I love that you can write your name backwards.
But you’re a sensitive soul and can get yourself worked up at the slightest thing. Despite enjoying pre-school, you work yourself up about going in and the last few weeks haven’t been fun at all. We’ll keep taking you though, as it’s a good thing for you to enjoy and the Teachers are really helping you develop even if you do get upset in the playground beforehand.
But you’re teaching Mummy and Daddy that it’s not easy, being a parent is hard work and isn’t what we expected at all. You’re teaching us to be patient and calm and the negotiation training is coming on a treat! But you’re so worth it, so worth the tears I wipe away when you eventually walk into pre-school, worth the bits of soggy toast left on the plate in the dining room and the light bulbs we leave on at night.
You have an exciting year ahead of you. We’re off to Butlins soon for a birthday weekend of adventure and fun. We’ll soon find out if you’ve got a school place in Reception and we have a wonderful holiday in France to enjoy in the Summer. We have a family wedding in the Summer and Daddy wants to teach you how to ride a bike. Mummy has enjoyed cooking with you in the kitchen and has many more plans for you to help cook up a storm. Our homemade chicken nuggets we made the other night were delicious so I need your help to make those again!
My beautiful boy, Mummy will always be there for you. She promises to make more time for you and put down her phone more often. You’re only little once and I want to enjoy it all with you whilst I can. How are you nearly four?
I love you this much (throws arms out really wide)
Love you lots, always and forever