I knew it was going to be a tough one. Facing the scales after two weeks ‘half arsing’ about on plan saw a gain of 5lb. I was expecting a gain, not that much (if I’m honest) but a gain none the less and it’s a massive reality check. I can either do the SW extra easy plan correctly, drink my water, count my syns and eat as much speed food as possible or I can try and follow the plan with my hand in the fridge / cupboard / snack tin and gain weight.
This week has been for those in the know, star week, or to everyone else ‘time of the month’. My hormones have completely wrecked my self control and my willpower this week and I’m a little bit ashamed of that. I used to be so strong. It’s as if my period arrives and my willpower walks out. I spend half the week desperately trying to stay on track and the other half of the week thinking I deserve a treat or two (three or four) because my period is so horrendous and I’m still not pregnant!
Of course it’s catch 22, I’m gutted I’m not pregnant (after all we are ‘trying’ and into our 8th month now) but then still think I’m too heavy to conceive. I’ve said before I have a magic number in which my weight was when we conceived Olly and now that is more than a stone away but I’m keeping that weight in mind and if nothing happens by then (if I ever get down to that weight) I’ll go and talk to my doctor and ask him to refer me back to my Gynecologist that I saw when we were trying for a baby the first time around.
A line has been drawn. I’m starting a fresh tomorrow (I’m currently making soup at 10:50pm) for our work lunches this week and we have a fruit basket full of speedy deliciousness to keep me on the straight and narrow.
I’ve heard tonight in group that in a couple of weeks the ‘SW Greatest Loser’ award will be awarded and I won it last year for our group and I would LOVE to win it for a second year. That’s motivation right there!
Wish me luck!