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Remembering it’s a journey not just a diet

struggling

The end of last week was awful for me. I was so tired, stressed out and hormonal. My body was playing silly games with me and I just felt fed up. I don’t get like this very often but it was one of those weeks where despite trying everything to stay positive, I just wanted to cry. It all came to a head for me on Thursday evening as hubby went out to play squash and Little Mr didn’t want me to sit outside his door at bedtime. He wanted his Daddy. It reduced me to tears and I went into our bedroom and saw hubby’s chocolate digestive biscuits on the bedside table. Six biscuits later, I had reached the bottom of the packet and they were all gone.

I knew I was going to feel guilty for eating them but I still did it. It didn’t stop there. I tried to pull it back during the following days eating well and on plan but I have no idea what happened during the evening. I ate rubbish and lots of it. I let my hormones get the better of me and I guess it just proves I’m only human.

Safe to say that weigh in showed a gain but I think I got away with it quite lightly. I only gained 0.5lb. I’ve noticed lots of changes in my body shape of late and I’m determined for that to continue. I’m now wearing clothes that are two sizes smaller than what I wore back in August and I’m delighted with that.

I’m back on plan today and have had a successful first day with good food and have eaten within my syns so I’m hoping with a few more days eating well, I can start to lose the gain and a bit more.

I’ve also made a few decisions of late on how I’m tackling the stress that I’m experiencing. My house is full of clutter and I’m fed up of moving it around the house to tidy it up. It’s got to go. I don’t need it now and there’s no point keeping it just in case. Thanks to eBay and selling a few things on Facebook I’m making space and a little bit of useful cash too!

I’m saying no! I love love love my blog and it’s been such a successful way of sharing my journey into motherhood and again my weightloss journey. But it takes up SO much of my time and time I want to claw back for family. I work 30+ hours in my day job (HR Professional) and at least 2 hours per night and more at weekends on my blog and I just can’t keep it up. I have been so grateful for all the opportunities I’ve been given but I need to say no more often and be more selective.

I need to stop being so nice. I worry all the time about what people think of me and I really shouldn’t. Why worry about something I can’t control. It’s making me feel inadequate and unhappy.

So, enough is enough and I’m on a mission to make my life a little less stressful. I want to smile more and be an amazing Mummy and Wife. I don’t feel like I’m doing any of those right now.

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