So when are you having the next one?

next one

The inevitable question.. Asked by all and sundry, usually nosy colleagues and friends of the family, as soon as you seem to be comfortable in the role of being a parent, you get asked.. So when are you having the next one? Aahhhhh! It drives me mad.

It’s the same type of question you get asked as soon as you get married, everyone assumes that as soon as the ring is on your finger, life as you know it stops and your evenings (or mornings!) will be consumed by baby making activities. Why is everyone in a rush to do things and for life to move on? It didn’t help my case that my little sister (although she’s only 18 months younger than me) got married six months before me and was freshly pregnant on my wedding day. As soon as her news was out, I had comments such as “oh she’s beat you too it!” or “are you upset she’s pregnant before you?”, I know people ‘probably’ meant well but it didn’t feel like it at the time.

Little Mr is nearly 14 months old. We’ve adjusted well to life as a family of three and having been back at work for almost 6 months now I feel I’ve got back into the swing of going to work and being a working Mama. It’s not been easy and for the time being, I’m enjoying our routines and seeing Little Mr developing his skills each and every day. He amazes me and I don’t want to miss out on anything with him. He’s yet to walk (although he’s an established cruiser) and he eats and drinks brilliantly. His communication skills are improving rapidly and he’s been blowing me kisses and waving me off each morning as I drop him off at his Grandparents saying what sounds remarkably like ‘bye-bye’. I am in no rush for him to grow up too quickly, at all. Why the rush?

Yes, we would love Little Mr to have a brother or sister in the not-so-distant future but we are certainly not in any rush to add to our family today, tomorrow or next month. We feel blessed that we have Little Mr in our lives and whilst we are in no rush to add to our little family just yet, when the time comes we’ll be overjoyed. Who knows it could take us two years to conceive or it could happen in 3 months, at this moment in time, we just don’t know and we like it that way. Isn’t life for living anyway? Why the rush?

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  • Reply Hannah

    I think I’ll finish cooking this one first! 27 weeks down 13ish to to. Also there are going to be four people in our house as it is and if we try to fit a 5th person in it’s going to be seriously crammed! (I think my MIL for a week post-baby arrival could be crammed enough and that’s temporary!)

    Currently bedroom 3 is being created but will only really work as a nursery and might be too small for a proper bedroom. Then again that’s a challenge when we get to that point.

    03/04/2014 at 12:23 am
  • Reply Lucy Bishop

    Amen to that. Bert is only 7 months old and I’ve lost count of all the times I’ve been asked about the next one! I feel the same as you, one day we’d love to be blessed enough to have another one, but at the moment I just want to thoroughly enjoy our little man! I’m in no rush to go through labour again either! XX

    03/04/2014 at 12:25 am
  • Reply Clare

    I hate that question. It is so rude and why is it anyone’s business anyway? I lost count of the number of complete strangers who asked me if I was going to have another one when my twins were tiny. Erm my hands are pretty full right now don’t you think??

    03/04/2014 at 12:40 pm
  • Reply Jen Suburban Mum

    I got this A LOT. I still get it, now worded “why haven’t you had any more?”. We decided to stop at one for many reasons, all of which are private to most people. Some people went on about it SO much, I actually told them I couldn’t have any more. It soon shut them up out of embarrassment I think. I know it’s not a nice thing to say, but I was fed up with people questioning our decision! It’s nobody’s business but yours!

    03/04/2014 at 8:50 pm
  • Reply Fresh Five Week 48 | Tots 100

    […] of Life According to Mrs Shilts has been getting fed up of people asking her when she is having another child. The question used to drive me mad too. I am sure she will have another child when she is ready and […]

    04/04/2014 at 8:39 am
  • Reply Sarah (@tamingtwins)

    This, everyone else having a right to comment on what goes on in your uterus drive me insane. It took years of IVF to have my babies and one of the worst parts of the whole thing was people constantly asking when I was going to get pregnant. Seriously, bog off. I really felt like asking how their sex life was or something!

    04/04/2014 at 1:13 pm
  • Reply Katie Haydock

    I remember reading something a while back by a fellow blogger, saying how she hated this very same question.
    They desperately wanted ‘to have next one’ but she had unfortunately miscarried a few times.
    It certainly made me think about asking someone about it again.
    I think its something that is personal, a bit like asking ‘So, hows your sex life’?

    02/06/2014 at 10:23 pm
  • Reply Lisa

    This is so true, Emma. It drives me nuts, it’s such a personal question. I didn’t even ask it before I had Poppy and I certainly wouldn’t ask it now, having gone through the heartache of miscarriage! How can anyone know if the person they’re asking isn’t desperate to have another but they can’t for financial or medical reasons, have suffered numerous baby losses or that, actually, they’re already trying their flippin best to get upduffed and it’s not made easier by interfering busy bodies asking stupid questions!! (sorry, went into a slight rant there, make of that what you will… ;) ) xx

    24/10/2014 at 11:50 am
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