On Friday evening after Little Mr had gone to bed, hubby and I sat down in the same room for more than ten minutes and we talked. We talked about our day, what Little Mr had done throughout the day, how long he had slept, what he had eaten, what our plans were for the weekend and we made plans for the rest of 2014.
You might think talking in the same room with your hubby is pretty normal, it is in most cases, but due to hubby’s medical condition, we’ve not been able to do this for a while. I was getting used to, and quite frustrated by, him falling asleep on me mid-conversation. I was getting rather paranoid that he was finding me that boring, I was driving him to sleep! It was brilliant, we spoke for a couple of hours and I really felt like we were both connected again. I’ve missed that. I’ve missed having someone to properly talk to, to pour out my worries and get reassurance that everything’s going to be okay. It sounds rather dramatic as we’ve not gone our separate ways but we’ve just been existing together rather than living and enjoying each others company.
I know I waffled on last week about things getting back on track and I really feel like they are now. Hubby gets his very own c-pap machine on Monday to keep for life, Little Mr is getting better after his cold and the rollercoaster temperatures we had to deal with in the week and I finally feel like I can get myself organised, plan the next couple of months and get this….relax a little and enjoy family time again!
But I need to find me again. I feel like I’ve slipped into some sort of monotonous routine that is just go, go, go. Work, eat and sleep around looking after Little Mr and making sure the house is in clean and safe enough condition for us to live in. I don’t have time to worry about the little things but I need to. I need to get back on the diet with vengeance. I need to lose weight, I need to wear more make up, I need to wear more fashionable clothes that suit me instead of clothes suited for my ample plus-sized frame! I need to catch up and get ahead..
I’ve thought about pulling the plug on my blog to give myself more time but I don’t think I can do it. Where else can I pour my heart out and get all my jumbled thoughts down on the screen. I know it’s time consuming but I enjoy it. Why should I give up something I enjoy? I need to say ‘No’ more often, I need to stop worrying about how my blog looks to other people and remember why I started blogging in the first place. I have met so many lovely people through blogging and I get so much support from them that I worry I wouldn’t get that if I gave up. I hate the words “give up”.. Giving up is a sign of weakness and that’s not me, I’m not a quitter! So excuse the reviews that will soon fill the blog for a while, I’ve got some beauties lined up and I hope you like them.
Off to bed I go, hubby can get up with the little one for some quality Father and Son time in the morning and I can make a start on being organised, wish me luck!