It’s nearly time…


Emma and Olly3

In just a couple of weeks, my amazing time at home with my gorgeous Little Mr will be over. It’s time to go back to work. I’m not thrilled by this in the slightest, in fact I feel rather depressed by it. The 8 months that I have spent with my Little Mr have been absolutely brilliant. We’ve had such a great time cramming in as much as possible and looking back, we’ve probably crammed in more in such a short space of time than some people do in years in their own lifetime.

I’m going back to work to a job I know I am good at. I’m a qualified Human Resources professional and have worked hard to get to where I am but life as a Mummy has changed me. I was very naive last December thinking it would be ‘easy’ to leave Little Mr with family whilst I went back to work but now the reality is smacking me right between the eyes and it hurts. It really hurts.

I’m not saying that I don’t want to work, I do. I don’t expect things to be handed to me on a plate, I like to earn money and provide the extra pennies for us to spend each month but I feel so guilty about leaving him. I know he is going to be absolutely fine, he is. He’s going to be with family who love him and will give him the attention he needs but I feel so guilty. If I’m honest, I’m probably feeling a little bit jealous too, I want to spend all day with my Son watching him perfect his crawl or listening to him saying first words but unless he does those things first thing in the morning or late afternoon, I’m going to miss them and I’m quite upset about that.

I’m having to return to work full time (term time only) as financially as a family we cannot afford for me to work any less. It’s our own fault, we spent beyond our means after we finished university buying and setting up our first home and I know we are incredibly lucky that we don’t have to pay for childcare but I really wish it was different. I hate that I’ve got to leave him for hours on end, day after day but it’s something I’ve got to do.

So colleagues who read my blog, apologies for being a miserable cow when I come back to work, I know I will be kept busy so I can get through the day and back to my little man, and sorry for the tears that will flow for at least the first few days (or weeks!) For all those women who think that having a baby won’t change them, i’m sorry you’re wrong. Being a mum will make you see things in a completely different light, you will become selfless and your heart will ache for the tiny person you’ve created when they cry.

Working mums, how do you do it? How did you cope with going back to work? Does it get any easier leaving your little one? Any words of encouragement will be hugely appreciated!

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  • Reply Kate 18/10/2013 at 3:46 pm

    Sorry to hear you’re feeling so bad about work. I can honestly say, it DOES get easier.

    I work for my family so I’m very lucky that its flexible and I do the majority of work remotely from home. However I had plans to return back to work after 3 months (it was approaching our busy period) – this didn’t happen, I pushed it back to 6 months. I went in for 1 day and cried all day and ended up leaving early because I missed her so much. I finally went back after 9 months and whilst I still found it hard it was right for us. I think it helped that my maternity pay stopped then so I didn’t have a lot of choice! Now when I get home from work she is so pleased to see me and its lovely. Good luck xx

  • Reply Gemma 18/10/2013 at 4:51 pm

    I went back to work when my little girl was almost 7 months old, that was 6 months ago and I am still struggling. I absolutely hate being away from her but I had no choice as I am the main breadwinner. The worst part is we still struggle for money. I work shifts so at least I get to spend days with her but this means I am tired a lot of the time so don’t feel I spend enough quality time with her some days. I make up for it when I am off work but it still breaks me that I’m not there all the time. It never gets easier but knowing you are working to provide for your little one is some comfort.

  • Reply Sister 18/10/2013 at 11:50 pm

    Hello.. I knew this time would come when I can say I told u so!! It is bloody hard juggling work, a growing son family and friends and wanting to do ur best at work on top of it all,. U know it got to me missing out on all the ‘little things’ but there are so many special things to come that only you will see and feel.. So set ur boundaries with the family ur does and don’ts and you’ll be happy.. Love u sis! And love my gorgeous nephew sooo much too! Xx

  • Reply Sam 18/10/2013 at 11:54 pm

    Ah I really feel your pain. I work on a Saturday and a Sunday 12-8:30pm. I get paid enhanced hours which bumps up my pay quite a bit and pays our bills! Child-less friends think I am mad as I can never go on nights out but I don’t mind – it’s the sacrifice I make to be with my kids mon-fri and through the school holidays which I cherish!

    I also sell books with usborne through the week to top up my income. It is flexible and I work when I want. I get lots of free books and it pays for little extras x

  • Reply Jeni Wood 19/10/2013 at 10:35 am

    Hi there, I feel your pain. I`m due to go back to work at the beginning of March and work are hassling me to confirm my hours already!!
    I don`t want to be thinking about it just yet as it means my mat leave is coming to an end and I`m in denial!!
    This is son #3 so you`d think I`d be used to this by now but I cant seem to contemplate leaving him this time, I think its because I know he probably my last :-(

  • Reply Kim Carberry 19/10/2013 at 2:34 pm

    Good luck returning to work x

  • Reply Nicola Robson 19/10/2013 at 8:39 pm

    It can be really hard going back to work, but everyone is different. I thought I would find it so emotional leaving my daughter – especially as I had to put her in a nursery because there was no family to look after her – but actually, I really didn’t in the end. I loved that the nursery wrote a little record of things that had happened in the day so that I didn’t miss out completely – “She has played with the shape sorter and enjoyed story time”, that kind of thing. It made the time I did spend with her very special, and we extended evening times so that we could spend extra time with her – she had long naps at nursery. (That was a useful routine when we lived in Gibraltar) Granted that was seven years ago now, and since I had my second child six years ago I’ve been a SAHM, but don’t be surprised or feel guilty if it’s not as hard as you think it will be!

  • Reply Katie @mummydaddyme 20/10/2013 at 12:20 pm

    I felt exactly the same as you Emma, I really did, the only difference is I went back part time. It sucks leaving your baby after spending 24 hours a day with them for the first few months. It’s also like the end of the era. I promise you it does get easier. I promise. The first few days are so hard but it will get easier. And a little part of you will enjoy it. And the coming home snuggles are just amazing. Good luck. x

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