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Fed up!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me at the moment…I’m well and truly fed up. I think it’s got quite a lot to do with how I feel about myself. I saw a photo of myself today taken just a few days ago at my Nephews 2nd birthday party and I honestly thought I looked ok. The photo was horrible! My hair just doesnt seem to suit me, my double chin is more like double chins and I just look horribly fat! I’m really not impressed. In fact, I could cry! I didn’t get to weigh in last night as I spent the night with my family playing with the birthday boys pressies and I was so hungry that I had to tuck in to the spread that my sister had put on for us. I did have a big bowl full of salad but didnt say no to a small slice of chocolate gateau! Ooopps..

Think I need to re-evaluate my life..I’m still ‘struggling’ with life after uni, I know that sounds mad and quite pathetic but I really don’t know what to do with myself. I’m having an identity crisis! Who am I? What do I enjoy doing? What should replace the gap that my studies used to fill? In an ideal world I’d fill the gap with starting a family and whilst I’d love to do that I’m seriously worried that my weight is playing a bit part in this dream not becoming a reality. I need to stop wallowing and get off my arse and so something about it. I’m going to ring up the gym and enquire about their classes. I’d like to join a class that will get my heart rate going so that i’ll be totally knackered when I get out but is something that I will enjoy doing. Many moons ago I used to do circuit training which was a proper killer but it had the desired effect..I was pooped after an hour of that! I’m also going to get my crafting stuff out again and have a play around with carding. I’ve also got a couple of cross stitches that I want to get finished and I’d also like to be a bit more houseproud. Don’t get me wrong we don’t live like pigs and our house definately wouldn’t feature on ‘How Clean Is Your House?’ but when I get a bit stressed out and tired I always notice bits of housework that need to be done immediately such as the crumbs on the kitchen floor and the dirty paw prints from the dog on the laminate in the hall. I want to paint the hallway a nice fresh neutral shade, the bathroom in bright white and the odd spare bedroom wall (which is currently blue) cream again this Summer. Ideally I’d like to keep our house a bit of a blank canvas with colourful accessories in every room so that when we decide to sell up (which maybe in the next couple of years) there’s not too much to do to sell the house.

As if you haven’t heard tonight is Election night. I did my bit and voted. Of course I’m not going to bore you with my political choice but I voted and as my mum used to tell me, if you don’t vote you dont get a say in how the country should be run! I don’t think for one minute that my vote will make a difference but you have to be in it to win it don’t you?

Looking forward to the weekend, we’re off camping with the dog in tow! This will be Mikey’s first ever camping trip and it may well be the last if he doesn’t behave himself. He’s a bugger for barking at the slightest thing so we’re hoping with enough walkies he’ll be knackered and will sleep like a baby. Fingers crossed the weather wont be too cack, I’ve heard its going to rain but as long as it only rains over night we’ll be ok!

Anyway, sorry for whinging post, just getting it off my chest! Have a fab weekend everyone {sig}

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3 Comments

  • Reply lacey

    I feel the same way this week. Totally fed up! Since I started WW again 2 weeks ago I cant get my head into the game and just feel fed up. At least you stopped at once small slice of chocolate gateau, I convinced myself that since the weather was wet cold and rainy that I deserved to comfort myself with making and having three bowls of berry crisp. :-/ oh well i at least I can begin again tomorrow :-)

    08/05/2010 at 9:21 pm
  • Reply Mandy

    I agree with Lacey, it must of been a week for feeling pants.

    You’ll pick up soon, it just takes time to find how to fill your life. I also do curcuit training in my Krav class and I feel it helps loads with my mood, and the size of my butt!

    Hope you’ve had a fantasic weekend and come home feeling refreshed. xox

    09/05/2010 at 3:59 pm
  • Reply Anonymous

    Like the ladies above, i know those feelings!
    I used to go to my local aqua aerobics – i have never slept so well as i did after these and the toning is pretty quick if you but your all into it!

    Good luck on the camping, i’m off this weekend to try out a new tent as well, hopefully we’ll both have good weather :)

    10/05/2010 at 1:28 pm
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