I’m in such a crap place right now. I went to see my friend yesterday who has been told that her illness is incurable and all they can do is try and manage her pain. I’m beyond gutted for her. There is absolutely nothing they can do and I feel completely useless. She is incredible though, her strength and positivity is amazing and it certainly puts everything else into perspective. Here’s me moaning about eating shite and worrying about a 1lb here and there and she’s facing the reality that at some point her two young children are going to be living without their Mummy. Emma, get a grip!
I have eaten foods I know I shouldn’t have in the last two days and I know it’s not good for me (think chocolate, cake, crisps, sweets!) I amaze myself at how I can be so flippin’ focused one day and the next it’s like there’s going to be a food shortage. I’m certainly letting my emotions and hormones get in the way. I seriously need to get into a new routine with my exercise so I’m really tempted to rejoin the gym but then I think of all the money it costs and I know we can’t really afford that at the moment.
I’m a right whinger today. Think I need my bed and I need a good nights sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and I need to be in a better mood. (It’s Hubby’s birthday and we’re off out for a pub lunch. I’ll post a pic tomorrow of the cake I’ve made him this evening, it is a chocoholics dream!!!) and then I’ve got the weekend to make positive choices and get some exercise in to counteract the damage I might have done in the past 2 days. I’m hoping I can go for a massive walk on Saturday with woofer and again on Monday before I go back to work on Tuesday.
Sorry for such a depressing post, just need to unload it all somewhere. .
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Confessions of a sweetie-holic
Forgive me (insert applicable saintly figure here) for I have sinned! I have eaten way too many sweets, chocolate and ice cream! I seem to have activated my self-destruction button and I’m eating rubbish. I even told my Weight Watchers leader this morning via text that I was hoping to get back on track today. I did well until dinner time, hubby made my all time favourite chilli meatballs with rice which was delicious, then I just wanted an ice cream fix. I seem to have picked up a really sore throat too (I’m thinking my nephew might have something to do with it!) I’m feeling really crappy at the moment and need to shake myself out of this spiral of being good then ruining all my good work giving in. I feel guilty afterwards so I know it’s not doing me any good.
Well if you’re still reading, thank you! I’ve got a massive walk planned for the morning so let’s hope I can lose my negativity and come back refreshed… Until next time
Also filed under: Randoms, Weightloss |